OBJECTIVE VII
Facilitate Communication with Dually Disordered to Minimize Resistance
Estimated time for delivery: 1 hour, 30 minutes TRAINER NOTE
The self-help ambulatory program is adapted to the needs of the dually disordered. In addition to offering stability and structure, the program must also be flexible in meeting the individual needs of peers served. For example, not uncommonly peers may express "resistance", i.e., unwillingness to cooperate with some aspect of the program. As we are dealing with a dual diagnosed population, this resistance may be due to a rigidly held belief system rather than a lack of cooperation with some aspect of the TC model. For example, if a peer holds the belief that contact with a cleanser will cause him cancer, shifting his responsibilities to a clerical task might be an alternative acceptable to the treatment community. Staff trainees need to learn how to negotiate such communication breakdowns so the spirit of the program's rules is not compromised.
CONTENT
The trainer will discuss basic listening and conflict negotiation skills in a 20 minute lecture (see handout VII.1).
EXERCISE
The group breaks up into dyads and role plays conversational exchanges involving confrontation.
SUMMARY
By the end of the segment, trainees will be more aware of how to decrease conflict by improving communication skills.
Handout VII.1 Aiding Communication
1. Listen. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand what she/he is thinking and feeling.
It may help if you begin with one of these expressions in a gentle tone of voice:
* "What you seem to be saying is ..."
* "It sounds like ..."
* "Let me see if I'm getting this right"
* "I just want to make sure that ..."
* "I understand what you're saying."2. Question. In particular, you can ask the other person to tell you more about his/her negative feelings, since that's what most people are afraid to talk about.
3. Drop defensiveness when hearing criticism. Listen to find some truth in what the other person is saying, even if you feel convinced that what is being said is unfair.
4. Stroke. You can try to find something genuinely positive to say to the other person, even in the heat of battle. This indicates that you respect the other person, even though you may be angry with each other.
How to end a standoff (neither of you will budge from your position) :
1. Genuinely try to see things from your partner's perspective. Don't "Yes-but".
Summarize how you think your partner feels.2. Communicate that you think your partner's perspective makes sense, is valid; even if you don't agree, you can both be right.
3. Be aware of the catastrophic expectations you are attaching to things. Tell yourself that you won't let these things happen. (An example of a catastrophic expectation is "If I give in, I will always be crawling to him.")
4. Ask your partner: "What can we do to make things better?"
5. State clearly and specifically what you will be willing to do to make things better.
Present your recommendations in terms of a positive suggestion.Adapted from D. Burns. The Feeling Good Handbook, 1989 and Gottman et al. A Couple's Guide to Communication,1976.
